So, surely it can’t just be me that has fallen victim to the phenomena that is ghosting in the past couple of years? Although when I recently rejoined various dating apps stating that ghosting was cowardly I had numerous amounts of people messaging me asking exactly what was ghosting . Now surely this had to be some kind of facade to play ignorant to appear like a nice boy. Either that or am I am just terrible at picking genuinely nice people & have had more fuckboys in my life than I care to admit.
Recently I experienced ghosting twice more or less at the same time but both a lot more painful than i have previously experienced. Usually I would deal with the whole quietly & rapidly falling off the radar thing with a heads on approach. Letting the said ghoster know what a dick move they’ve just made & finishing with a bye boy burn.
However my recent ghostees have been the worst I have encountered so far & here are the reasons why.
Scenario Number One
Ghostee number 1 I had been in contact with for over a year things were extremely casual between us when we met & we were both in the same circumstance of leaving the U.K to go travelling. As brief & as casual as things were he asked me to make sure I stayed in touch with him while we were both gone & at the beginning that was great. Things hadn’t seemed to have changed much between us he still seemed eager, acted interested & I was so excited for him. He still gave me butterflies just as he had when we first met. We only spoke briefly around once a month exchanging stories of where we were & what we were upto. Things were like this up until around 6 months into his travelling & 3 into mine. This is when I noticed a change in behaviour extremely brief conversations & rounding things off with an unrepliable emoji. WTF was that all about. We shared a facetime once in the time we were away & even then my butterflies kicked in & I was excited & nervous again to see him. Things were said which hinted at a future & stupidly got my hopes up that he hadn’t lost interest in me just yet. Soon enough things returned to how they had before. Uninterested & extremely brief until a few days before his return. I was already home & a couple of weeks before had made a vow to myself to not get in touch with him as much as I wanted too. I now felt that all the effort was one sided & there’s nothing worse than feeling desperate for someone to want you. I know it’s stupid but someone should not have that much power over you.
Anyway before his return home we exchanged messages & things felt exactly how they had a year ago. Once again I felt excited by him & couldn’t wait to see him.
A couple of weeks passed before there was any mention of seeing one another which I thought understandable as I knew how busy things got once you returned home. Little did I know it would be a whole month before the suggestion of meeting up only to plan a day & be let down. I approached the subject the day after for which he apologised & acknowledged that he had fucked up & said we would make it work. A month passed to which we didn’t really talk at all. I began to feel disheartened & stupid for letting myself feel interested in someone who it felt didn’t have the time of day for me any more.
We arranged on numerous occasions to meet up for it only not to happen & the more it happened the more I lost faith in us. Eventually we met up & if anything I was now more nervous of the reaction I’d get from him. Surprisingly things seemed to go pretty well but for me I couldn’t help but feel distracted by the situation I was in but because we had never said what we were actually doing I never felt comfortable approaching the subject what we were now & the way I had been made to feel so shit about myself at points throughout the year. Seriously, a whole year & I felt so intimidated about fucking things up that I never approached the situation. That’s how much I wanted this person in my life.
the day after I heard nothing so I messaged checking he was still alive when conversation fell dead pretty quickly. I guess he had his cake & ate it & didn’t feel obliged to engage in conversation. So me being extremely drunk one Saturday night messaged him confessing that he still made my heartbeat rapid speeds after he confessed I still excited him to which he read & did not reply. How gut wrenching is that? I cringed so hard about it the next day & even considered sending an apology but then my dad got really poorly & nearly died & I just thought, FUCK IT. Yes, I like you. So what. It should be a compliment if anything it should be fucking flattering to hear that someone likes you. I wasn’t proposing marriage.
If anything I guess all I wanted to hear you say was I like you back.